Love is to me not just a question of romantic relationships; I see love more like a global energy — a warm, positive and comforting cloud that we have all around us.

Some people shut it off by being angry, critical or negative, but the loving energy is always there. If you choose to embrace it, you will not only find a great partner, but also be able to have a healthy long-term relationship.

Finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend is not enough if you wish to be happy. Anyone can find a partner, but a lot of relationships are neither supportive nor joyful. Not even finding love is enough. Living in love is much better, encouraging and nurturing the bond between people.

Whether you take love in or not is your choice. Whether you talk about what you hate or what you love is your choice. Whether you are optimist, pessimist, positive, negative, light or dark — it's all your choice. That is the truth, and it will set you free.

Mother Teresa once said, "No matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work." By that she meant that you can stop being upset about the rain, people who have hurt you and others who are absent. You can instead choose to look forward and find a better future for yourself. Every time you waste time complaining about the rain, you get further away from love. You may find a partner, who is equally negative, and you will find comfort in each other's bad mood, but does it make you happy?

When you dare to open that heart of yours, you will feel as if you can breathe freely, and you will attract more loving people into your life.

These are some exercises (from my book Shine) that you can do to get there faster. Sometimes happiness needs a helping hand.

• Write a list of words that appeal to you and use those words like vitamins for your soul. In a study, one group of people got to read a document filled with words like "polite", "kind" and "considerate", while another group got a questionnaire filled with words such as "forward", "pushy" and "aggressive". Both groups were then asked to go over to another researcher to get the next part of the study. This researcher pretended to be busy, and there was a huge difference between how the two groups behaved. Those who had read "pushy" words interrupted the researcher, but the other group stayed quiet, waiting. What words do you need to feel good? Sunshine, love, friends, beer, shoes, Mum, God, pretty, lovely, laughs, Ferris wheel, beach, special …
  

• I believe singing is amazing for your soul, since you need to breathe deeply and let it all out. Try to sing along to the radio, perform those old Christmas carols you know the words to or just come up with your own songs as you go.
  

• Name 10 people you really like having around you — colleagues, friends, family, lovers — and list why they are great.
  

• Forgive someone. Perhaps you dwell on how someone at work mistreats you or how your parents always criticised you. Maybe you get all red in the face thinking about the person who once hurt you. Set yourself free today by sending a letter, making a phone call or meeting someone eye to eye, and saying, "I forgive you."

There are hundreds of ways to kick-start your journey towards love. The main message is that it is possible. You don't have to wait for another person to make you happy. You find love when you have chosen to be loved.

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