Have a chat on R U OK? Day

holly enriquez

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

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Today is R U OK? Day, a day to take time to ask those around you who appear to be struggling: "Are you okay?"

While it's rarely talked about, each year more than 2100 Australians die from suicide. And for every person who dies in this way, it is estimated at least another 30 attempt suicide.

It's the biggest killer of men between the ages of 15 and 35 — but we can all help prevent some of these tragic deaths.

"R U OK?Day is about stopping little problems turning in to big ones, says the co-founder and director of R U OK? Day, Janina Nearn.

"Asking 'Are you okay?' and listening to the answer is a something that needs to be done every day, not just on September 15. However, by having a national day of action we are reminding people of the importance of staying connected."

R U OK? Day organisers aim to reduce the number of suicides each year by encouraging everyone to reach out to someone who might need your help, as research has shown that talking about suicide with someone at risk reduces the chance of them taking their own life.

How to start a conversation

The R U OK? website explains how to engage in an effective conversation by:

taking the lead, showing initiative and asking, "Are you okay?"
using ice-breakers;
practising your listening skills;
being encouraging; and
being helpful.

"In only three years R U Ok? Day has gained huge momentum nationally," said Janina.

"Including support from celebrities, sports personalities plus the health sector, which for the first time has come together for R U OK? Day to provide clarity on the support that is available in Australia."

To be a part of R U OK? Day go to www.ruokday.com.au to register and view stories of inspiration plus download free resources.

Watch the video of Hugh Jackman and Naomi Watts, above to find out more.

Read what readers had to say about R U OK? Day this year and last and leave your comments about this year's event below.

User reviews

I have had depression for over ten years. It's not something I wear like a badge, but it is a part of my life. I find it interesting to read some comments that suggest thinking about people worse off, or changing location, or spending time with others, or turning to God will result in being cured. Sorry, but that's not always true (especially the thinking about other people who may be worse off - that tends to make the hopelessness of my depression worse). Medication is not the enemy - if you need it, you need it. I need it. Without medication I would not be able to hold a job, would not have any social life, and might even be dead right now. If you can get better without medication, that's great - but DON'T make people who need it feel like they aren't strong enough - real strength is accepting the help that you need, regardless of what that is. My illness is a physical, chemical imbalance - not mind over matter.

i was a person left behind by a partner who took his own life. I must admit I did think at one stage that i wanted to go to and it was all too much to cope with ...but keeping in mind that I have loved ones around me and that they're more people who have been though far worse than me in the world. No one can help u but yourself!!! The drug prescribed by your Dr make u crazy that u probably end up mental! We all should be happy and fortunate to have life. Think of the poor people in Africa..!!!!! Have an attitude of gratitue!!!! Unfortunately no everyone can get thorugh depression as easy as I have but one thing that did help me is having faith!

My partner took his life 12 years ago. He was 23 at the time we had been together for 3.5 years and although I knew he had a slight drinking problem, I had never once thought he would take his life. His relationship with his Dad was not good . He would get angry and throw his weight around outside but never direct it at me. Well one day he did the usual, when frustrated he went outside and I let him be. 30 mins later I went to check and I found him . He was gone...I just could not understand how he could do it. No warning signs! I guess with the alcohol his state of mind was deeply affected and he was in this mental hole he could not get out of.. this all happened so quickly..gone forever. I do believe talking helps.. but from what ive heard those who talk about committing suicide are crying for help.. So what do u do with this information? u have to be so careful how u deal with them. And how r u to know if someone is going to take their life without being there 24 hours a day!

ok, well i have chronic depression, and suicide is on my mind all the time. No one asked me if i was ok today.... which is fine.... But i think it would help, like, i really need to talk to a friend, someone, anyone. But i can't and always answer "i'm good" or whatever when people ask me how i am. And it shouldn't be just one day, if you see someone upset or who doesn't look 'well', ask them if they are ok, any day. And help doesn't work with me, help always makes it worse for me, i talked to a friend about it she never talks to me again. and i've seen psychiatrists but i just want someone to talk to who won't say "how are you feeling on a scale of 1-10" ect, like, i am obviously feeling terrible. And for people who say if i do anything it's selfish, and i should think of my family... i am a burden! i am seriously a waste of space and i fail, aeveryone would be better or without me and that's a fact. I'm not saying i will do anything right now though im just sick of being depressed

The Tasmanian Family Violence Act is an example of very poor legislation which leads to suicides and as advised by the Australian lawyers groups and the Aust Law reform Commission should be changed. The Government has no intention of providing natural justice for falsely accused. The Police have been granted the power of the Judiciary by this legislation to make and issue detention Orders which dispossess Respondents from their homes and children for 12 months. The Safe At Home Initiative is an horrific addendum to this legislation for people infinitely denied their property rights and access to their children. Often people are feeling that the system is against them and that the system is not fair. Men often have a lot of anger and under the anger there is a lot of grief and despair and a sense of unfairness and a sense of gross injustice perpetrated by Government.. The end result is unless you can get help from family members and friends is suicide. You cannot win!

I think I am suffering from depression. I have the symptoms but haven't been diagnosed. Don't want to. The Shrinks will just put me on pills - which some readers have already indicated are not the answer. They just mask the problem momentarily, but come with a baggage full of side effects if you are unlucky majority. Then again I suppose for those who are desperate and completely helpless that might seem to be the only solution, but beware its only 'temporary'. I don't have an solution yet, but I am thinking the answer must lie in taking the focus off 'self' and the insidious self-pity that develops and leads to hopelessness. Suicide seems to be the ultimate attention getter for some, but I am sure there are many who do not do it for attention - at least not consciously. For those of us who have a seemingly good life but just feel blue for no reason, its frustrating and anguishing. If you can't give a reason as to why you are not OK it becomes a frustrating mystery. Good luck all.

I have suffered Mental health issues all through my life, even as an 8 year old i was depressed with insomnia and I wouldn't even tell my dad urban legends such as 'Bloody Mary' because I was afraid he would commit suicide this way! I know its silly now, but as an 8 year old...to understand depression and suicide is quite full on. My family have suffered from alcoholism, and depression, and domestic violence. I susequently made silly decisions all my life, ended up in abusive relationships one after another. U get back up, and you somehow manage to find something to pull u down, lower each time. I look at people who are depressed and suicidal and i wonder "why are you so low? You are a beautiful person!" So I try to apply that to myself. It is ultimately our own responsibility to pull ourselves out of the darkness but noone said u have to do it alone! MH is like physical health, u need to exercise & nurture it. Forget societal expectations & make ur own. U are unique. U are amazing!

My husband committed suicide 8 years ago, very publicly and well know to many. He had clinical depression, and to this day think of him and how he just couldn't get out of the black hole. With 2 young children at the time, it was taking all my strenght and courage to get through something which is so difficult to understand.I have helped other people since, sporting and friends of a friend.I would do anything to not see another family suffer the way i did with my family, as it is so soul destroying and that of people just not understanding the illness.

"...Depression is the inability to construct a future." Rollo May I struggle through 6 years of depression after my marriage broke down. A job relocation overseas refreshed my outlook on life and I have not been happier. I suggest to those who cannot see a future to take the bold step and relocate to new surrounds, immerse yourself among new friends, new culture and a new outlook on life will come naturally.

I too suffered from depression for years. I was bullied throughout primary and high school and then I was sexually assaulted resulting in an unplanned pregnancy. I'd slash my wrists all the time and have the scars. My dad came into my room one night and gave me a lecture. Think about your son. See it's not just about us. We have family and friends who care and love us and you're willing to die in spite of that? It's the most selfish thing I've ever heard and to me it's an excuse to justify why you are the way you are. No one really asked me if I was OK and even if I wasn't I wasn't willing to expose my true feelings. When you're gone that's it. It's not like call of duty where you respawn every time you die. You only get one life and if you're not even willing to help yourself how can you expect anyone else to? Since meeting my fiance I've never felt so happy. I haven't thought about suicide since. Make the best of what you have and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

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