Just hooked up with your dream woman? Congratulations, you can look forward to amazing sex, loving companionship and someone to go to the movies with on boring Sunday nights.
And at the same time, commiserations! Don't get us wrong, clearly the positives of romantic relationships outweigh the negatives or we wouldn't spend so long chasing them. But now you're attached life will change, and not always for the better.
Your new squeeze, however lovely she may be, is likely to be doing some of the changing. Some women set out to change their men, and some women change them almost by accident, as a happy (for them) by-product of long-term love.
Here are some of the ways you and your life might be transformed in the months and years ahead. Some you may be fine about, but one or two might chill you to the bone. If that's the case, forewarned is forearmed. You don't have to become a different person for the sake of your relationship. Here's what to expect...
You don't go out as much...
Or at least, you don't go out the same. You used to love boys' nights out, but now they've become fraught with complications. You have to negotiate the date, take a grilling about what the night might entail and get up early the next morning to visit her mother.
The result is, boys' nights out become an occasional treat (even, in extreme cases, a reward for good behaviour) rather than spontaneous acts of hedonism.
If the hoops you have to jump through to get a pass-out are too demanding, the reward is not worth the effort. Then one day you catch yourself thinking that cosy nights in with X Factor aren't so bad after all...
Your friends start to look different
If she's not keen on your boys' nights, she's probably not keen on the bunch of feckless bachelors you go on them with.
So she starts telling you how much she likes your friend Ed, who just coincidentally happens to be ensconced in a long-term relationship. She organises dinner parties that only couples are invited to. As she gets braver, she starts to slip derogatory opinions into conversations — perhaps Mike needs to "grow up a bit".
She's allowed her view, of course, just as you're allowed to choose your own mates. Have a chat about it if her animosity is becoming stressful, and make sure you hide Mike's bad bits ("he'll chat up anything in a skirt!") while bigging up his good ones ("he'd do anything for me").
You eat rabbit food
When you move in with her, you'll share a diet. Sometimes, that means she eats more of the things you like.
Usually, it means you start telling your mates how great you feel now that you eat salad every day, or how much more energy you have since discovering the magic of quinola, while all the time grieving silently for the Friday night pizza you used to long for all week long, and the post-pub kebab that made closing time bearable.
You lose your Saturday
When you were single, Saturday afternoons were dedicated to simple pleasures.
But in coupledom, Saturday afternoons are prime pieces of 'Do Stuff' time, whether that means shopping, mending things, preparing for the dinner parties you'll inevitably be having, or even having long loving sessions between the sheets.
Which is fine (especially the latter), but it is different. You'll have to be pretty strong-willed to keep hold of that Super 15 season ticket after a year or two of cohabitation, and you can forget lounging in your boxers all afternoon shooting zombies.
Your clothes change
There are two ways a woman will try to change your look. Firstly, she'll make 'helpful' comments. She thinks the red top would be better with those jeans, and some new trainers would make you look less like a bum.
Even if she's nice about it, by undermining confidence in your own sense of style she ensures that all future fashion decisions are sanctioned by her. You are no longer your own man.
The second way is easier to spot. She simply buys you a new wardrobe. You'll know this has started when you ask for an Xbox game for Christmas and you get a jumper.
She will then dedicate all gift giving opportunities to your 'rejuvenation', before flinging caution to the wind and buying you new clothes whenever she fancies. At that point, you have become her idea of a well dressed man and not your own. If you don't like it, retake control of your wardrobe.
You start grooming
Along with a new jumper, expect a little jar of unidentifiable gloop in your Christmas stocking.
Before you know it, you'll be having lunch break botox injections and be seriously considering the back, sack and crack wax that she thinks will make you look sexy in Speedos (she bought the Speedos).
You have 'man jobs'
You may consider your girlfriend someone who believes in a large measure of equality. Wait till you move in together.
Then, a raft of household chores will suddenly become 'man jobs', including taking bins out, dealing with anything technology related, and DIY chores that are in any way messy or that involve power tools.
And you'll begin to believe it too, even if you've never wielded a drill in anger in your life.
You get scared
You'll soon come to realise that pre-menstrual tension — the monthly madness — is no joke, though some women suffer from it (or gleefully use it as an excuse to give men a hard time) more than others.
And then there are those other times that used to be carefree, and are now care full. You can have a good night out, but should you really push on to a club (maybe she's waiting up)? You could invite Mike round for an all day Rambo marathon, but can you handle the tension it will cause?
And if you're still in touch with your ex on Facebook, you'll want to keep it to yourself (and clear it from your browsing history).
In other words, things that you consider perfectly innocent are now fraught with anxiety. Life's not as simple anymore, but it is, undoubtedly, better.
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