Question:

I have a high sex drive and so does my girlfriend. I can usually climax very easy if it's been a few days since we'd previously had sex. But we have noticed when sex is very regular, like 12 hours apart, after the third or fourth time I cannot climax easily or not at all. Then my girlfriend thinks it's her at fault and that I'm not attracted to her. Is there anything that can help me to get past this problem?

Response:

It is always good to start with some education, beginning with considering the question, what is normal? The period between when a man ejaculates and he can obtain another erection and ejaculate is called the refractory period. This differs between men and usually changes with age. Some men will ejaculate and keep an erection and be able to continue to be sexual if they want to. Other men may have to wait a day before they can obtain another erection.

In your case you have a very short refractory period. However, having a short refractory period will not override the time it takes to build up sperm. What you are experiencing, by your third or fourth time of ejaculation in a short period of time is normal. It is often called a "dry orgasm", so you may feel that you have an orgasm but there is little or no ejaculate.

It sounds as though you and your girlfriend have a matching libido. That's good news. However, it can be distressing when a person bases their sense of attractiveness on the extent to which their relationship resembles a "sexual fantasy". But remember, your ejaculation behaviour is normal.

Hopefully this information can help both of you focus away from the "fantasy" and back onto the loving and fun relationship you have.

For more information please visit the Impotence Australia website.