Question:

I am writing to find out if there is any way to encourage my wife to improve our oral sex regime. We have been together for about five years and there has been no oral intercourse of any sort between us at the moment. I believe she may have issues with her the cleanliness of her genitals, even though she pays good attention to this in her bathing. She is also a fairly withdrawn person sexually. Oral sex is something that I enjoy and I would like us to be able to enjoy this together.

Response:

There could be many things going on here. First, it is important to find out if your partner dislikes intensely oral sex and if there is a mismatch between what the both of you like in terms of sexual practices. If this is the case and your partner stated she will never want to perform oral sex, then you need to examine what this means for you.

Answering these questions may help: Can you live without ever having oral sex? Are there other enjoyable sexual practices that you do in this relationship? What other positives do you get from being in this relationship?

Please consider that you and your partner need to talk about this issue. The best time to talk is not when you are being intimate or have had a difficult day. Find a time where both people are relaxed and say, "Honey, I need to talk with you about something that you might feel uncomfortable about." And then let her know your worries.

There maybe things that can change her stand on oral sex or her reserved approach to sex. At least the difficulty will be out in the open and discussed in a non-threatening environment.

For more information please visit the Impotence Australia website.