On-off relationships

Stella Law
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Image: Getty

Kate Moss back with beau

Kate Moss’ turbulent relationships have always been as fascinating as her illustrious career in fashion. Given she's a permanent fixture in the glossies, gossip mags and papers, her apparent inability to find love in a lasting relationship never seems to disappoint the masses.

Now, this is in no way an indication of us being a nation of nasties but more to do with the fact that if a beautiful, multi-millionaire can stumble on the road to happiness, so too can the rest of us – and with a little less guilt.

The Croydon-born model having only just made headlines for her spilt with rocker Jamie Hinze, has been snapped in the Brit daily The Mail with her beau enjoying a good old British pub lunch followed by a decadent shopping trip in London’s Selfridges all whilst laughing, cuddling and holding hands. For Kate, and millions of women around the world, relationships are very much a case of break-up and make-up…break-up and make-up.

On-again, off-again couples aren’t exactly seeking turmoil in their lives. According to the experts, it is generally a case of tackling the desire for freedom and the fear of regret. Knowing the right course of action to take is different for every case but before becoming a relationship boomerang consider the following:

  • Do you end a relationship because of someone’s habits, only to return in the hope these will change? According to psychotherapist Toni Coleman, "you have to assume that the behaviours you see will get more entrenched." Keep in mind, if this is the case, would you still return?
  • Don’t bottle it up. Ask for advice from a third party. Choose someone you trust and provide as unbiased an account as possible.
  • Take time out. Emotional break-ups can lead to emotional make-ups. Try to resist the temptation and allow yourself the time and distance to figure out exactly what went wrong and what you want, if anything, from the relationship. If you aren’t happy, make the hiatus a permanent one.


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