10 ways to spice up your relationship

Here are my 10 quick and easy tips to help deepen your sexual intimacy:

Steamy sex tip 1:
Let your fingers 'do the talking' and allow them to roam over, as yet, unchartered erogenous zones. Sex research shows we always tend to touch our partners in the same places. Surprise them as you run your finger tips a bit further down and around their sensitive areas.

Steamy sex tip 2:
Change tactics. If you always caress your partner with your left hand, definitely try using your right hand instead. It'll feel like they're being touched by someone new! It might mean shifting from one side of the bed to another but this is well worth a little effort.

Steamy sex tip 3:
Don't keep your racy fantasies to yourself — they were meant for sharing. Always start with caution and keep it pretty tame. As you admit to fantasising about finding them lying naked on the beach etc, you can ratchet up the temperature as they respond positively.

Steamy sex tip 4:
Relocate your position. Sex research finds that most couples settle into their favourite one or two positions. This can become boring (even if no one says so). For instance, it's easy to slip from 'spoons' — both of you lying on your sides with the man behind — to 'doggy style' by helping her turn onto her hands and knees.

Steamy sex tip 5:
'The language of love' is often more about your sex sounds — such as making moans and groans — than actually speaking. If you're feeling a bit shy to say what you'd like, sigh and moan when they're doing something right to keep them doing more.

Steamy sex tip 6:
Temperatures are rising, so maybe it's time for 'talking dirty' — but remember, there's a big difference between flirty and dirty. As with doing anything new, start slowly with something flirty like, "you're gorgeous". Then, take it to the next level and specify exactly which part of them you find most gorgeous — legs, breasts, bum, etc. Step by step, increase the detail of what you say.

Steamy sex tip 7:
Play detective and find out what they'd really like you to do. Touch and caress them in one erogenous zone and ask if it feels good. When you get a 'yes' try another move, maybe adding in a bit of oral stimulation, and ask if that feels even better. Keep going as you map out their likes and dislikes.

Steamy sex tip 8:
If you're snuggled up in front of the telly, then it's the perfect time to change 'location'. Most couples end up in bed, when they could have just as much fun by grabbing a few cushions and a soft blanket and enjoying some lounge sex.

Steamy sex tip 9:
Leftovers can become part of foreplay if you're creative. If you have that half-finished bottle of Kahlúa or Malibu sitting around, why not drizzle it down each other's bodies to gently taste? Or, crumble some chocolate or cake across your partner as they're lying in bed — a treat for him and a mini-feast for you.

Steamy sex tip 10:
Play a guessing game using a simple blindfold. Blindfold your partner and ask them to guess what you're touching them with — your finger, your tongue, or if you're nuzzling them with your nose! This is a great way to have a giggle together.

Dr Pam's hot new sex guide Steamy Sex is available now.