The couple's Christmas survival guide

As if relationships weren't complicated enough, along comes December with lots of added pressures on couples. There you want everything to be perfect - especially if it's your first Christmas together — and yet there are many hurdles looming as the holidays approach.

Some of these can come out of the blue and others you worry about inside but wonder how on earth you can raise them with him. When all along he's probably worrying about the same things!

Here are the top festive frictions you might face:

Festive friction No 1: It's a wrap
You undoubtedly want to spoil him and hope he wants to spoil you with lots of little beautifully wrapped gifts. But money's tight for everyone right now and you might find it hard to raise what can be a massive worry. It's okay to suggest tactfully that neither of you goes over the top — no point getting in debt just to impress each other.

Definitely suggest giving each other a list of your top 10 'desires' — making sure they're all under a set amount. If things are super-tight give each other personalised Christmas cards where inside you write down five things you'd love to do for each other. You each choose two from the list. Include things like sensual massage, being spoilt with breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed, etc.

Festive friction No 2: His place or yours?
Don't let it become a power struggle trying to decide where you spend Christmas this year. Why not show goodwill and agree to stay at his this year and then alternate each year after that? Remember the important thing is to spend it together and you can make meaningful compromises.

For instance, if you stay at his, you have a big say in how you spend the day and what you have for Christmas dinner. Plus you also get to choose how you spend New Year's Eve.

Festive friction No 3: Where's all the action?
If you're in the first flush of the honeymoon phase you've probably been having loads of hot sex — then with all the demands of December you're suddenly getting zero action in the bedroom. This can come out of the blue and throw new couples who inside feel neglected but don't say anything.

Get practical and put some dates in your diaries for some nights in together - the two of you, some nibbles and drinks plus lots of candlelight. And keep communication going over how much you're thinking of each other even if loads of things are getting in the way of seeing each other.

Festive friction No 4: Office party problems
It can create a surprising amount of friction if, eg, his office allows partners to come along to the Christmas party and yours doesn't. Be tactful and don't rub his nose in it telling him how fabulous your office 'do' was.

And certainly don't try and make him jealous by saying how a colleague flirted with you all evening. If partners aren't allowed, agree to meet up after your respective parties for some midnight magic together.

Festive friction No 5: The seasonal slump may strike
We all know there can be an emotional plunge after the excitement of Christmas and New Year's — but when we're in a new relationship it's quite a shock. Make sure you spend lots of time together being really loved-up and affectionate.

Have lots of cuddles and relaxation going on walks or watching DVDs. Learning to chat about such slumps in your mood is great for the future of your relationship where you'll face many highs and lows.

Festive friction No 6: Seasonal separations
Because of certain family or work demands you might be separated over Christmas and/or New Year's. Use a few key things to keep the love-vibe going - definitely message each other lots of flirty texts, Skype, or have lots of phone calls because hearing each other's voices will keep you two bonded.

Let them know you're missing them but keep positive too — there's nothing worse than a load of miserable phone calls over the week or two you're separated. And definitely look forward to the New Year together planning a few fun dates in January.